Dad’s Heartbreak After Daughter Was Taken to Poland 8 Years Ago: “I’m Afraid I’ll Never See Her Again”

A father has spent eight heartbreaking years fighting to reunite with his daughter after her mother took the little girl to Poland for what was supposed to be a holiday — and never returned.

Tom Toolan, 63, was preparing to collect his five-year-old daughter, Rhian, from nursery in 2018 when a message from his former partner, Edyta Sonta, changed his life forever.

The text reportedly read: “For now we are not coming back to the UK. Rhian is safe and happy.”

Since that day, Tom says he has devoted himself to finding a way to see his daughter again. He has reportedly spent £165,000 on legal fees and pursued multiple legal avenues, but Rhian has still not been returned to the UK.

A Holiday That Never Ended

According to Tom, Rhian’s mother took their daughter to Poland for a three-week holiday in 2018. He said he had previously worried that his former partner might move abroad with the child, but he did not believe he had enough evidence to prevent it.

Tom said he never wanted to separate Rhian from her mother. He simply wanted to maintain a relationship with his daughter and remain a part of her life.

Before the trip, he recalled Rhian making comments about moving to Poland and the family getting a house there. He also said her mother’s home was put up for rent and that he was not told where Rhian would be staying.

When the message arrived saying they would not return, Tom said his world fell apart.

At the time, he had reportedly been Rhian’s primary carer from when she was just six weeks old. He remembered their everyday routines — walking the dogs, shopping and swimming together — as treasured moments that made their relationship special.

Suddenly, those ordinary experiences became memories he could only look back on.

Years of Legal Battles and Failed Recovery Attempts

Tom sought help from authorities in the UK, and the Crown Prosecution Service approved charges against Rhian’s mother, according to police statements reported by The Sun. UK and Polish court proceedings followed, but the child was not brought back.

An international notice featuring Rhian’s photograph was eventually issued, and an extradition warrant and European Arrest Warrant were also put in place for her mother.

Tom says there have been nine attempts to recover Rhian over the years, without success.

For him, the financial burden has been enormous. The £165,000 he says he has spent on legal fees represents years of trying to navigate a complicated cross-border legal process.

Now, he fears he may have reached the limits of what he can afford to do.

Tom has also spoken about the emotional toll of continuing to fight while watching his daughter grow up from a distance. Rhian was five when she left the UK and is expected to turn 13 next August.

The Reunion That Left Him Devastated

After years without seeing Rhian in person, Tom reportedly managed to meet her for around 30 minutes last year.

But the encounter was not the reunion he had dreamed of.

Tom said Rhian told him she hated him and did not want to see him again. He believes she may have been influenced by negative claims about him, although that is his interpretation of what happened.

He recalled leaving photographs of their time together, hoping they might help her remember their relationship, but said she showed little interest.

The brief meeting left him heartbroken. After years of legal efforts and hope, he was confronted with the painful reality that his daughter might no longer feel the connection he remembers so clearly.

Tom has said he does not want to make Rhian’s life miserable or force her into a relationship. His wish, he says, is simply to have the chance to know his daughter and rebuild a connection if possible.

A New Family Still Feels the Loss

Tom has since remarried and has two sons, but he says Rhian’s absence continues to affect the whole family.

He recalled how much she loved his wife and how excited she had been around her younger half-brothers. He worries that the children have missed the opportunity to grow up together and form the close sibling bond he once hoped they would share.

His fear is that Rhian may grow up without remembering the people who loved her in the UK — and that he may never have another opportunity to reconnect with her.

“I’m worried I will die and I will never see her again,” he told The Sun, describing the fear that keeps him awake at night.

Now 63, Tom says he is conscious that time is passing. He hopes that one day his daughter may want to contact him, but he cannot know whether that day will come.

A Wider Problem for Families

Tom’s case has also drawn attention to the wider issue of international parental child abduction, in which a parent takes a child across borders in breach of custody arrangements or court orders.

He says he has met around 30 other fathers who have faced similar situations. Their experiences, he argues, show how difficult it can be to enforce court decisions when a child is living in another country.

The European Commission launched infringement proceedings against Poland in 2023 over concerns about the return of abducted children. UK officials have also raised concerns about cases involving children taken from Britain to Poland.

Former Home Secretary Priti Patel previously described Tom’s case as deeply troubling and raised the issue in Parliament.

Suffolk Police said an extradition warrant and European Arrest Warrant remain in place for Rhian’s mother, but that she is protected from extradition by virtue of her nationality while she remains in Poland.

The UK government has said it takes international parental child abduction seriously and continues to raise the issue with the Polish government.

Rhian’s mother has previously given a different account of the circumstances, telling a Polish newspaper that she did not see a future for herself and Rhian in the UK. She also made allegations about Tom, which he has disputed; reports say those accusations were dismissed in court.

The competing accounts underline the complexity of the case, while the central issue remains unresolved: a father says he has been unable to rebuild a relationship with his daughter for eight years.

For Tom, the pain is not simply about the legal battles or the money he has spent. It is about the years of childhood he has missed, the family memories that were never made and the uncertainty of whether he will ever see Rhian again.

As his daughter grows older, he continues to hope that the relationship they once shared might one day be possible again.

Source: The Sun