‘She Did Everything Right’: Mother Fights for Change After 13-Year-Old Daughter Took Her Own Life

Ella Murray was just 13 years old, but in the final days of her life, she repeatedly tried to tell adults that she was in serious danger.

She asked for help. She told medical professionals she was suicidal. She even warned that she might hurt herself or someone else if she was left at home.

Yet less than an hour after a nurse visited her house, Ella took her own life.

Now, nearly three years after her daughter’s death, her mother, Natalie James, is fighting to make sure no other family experiences the same devastating loss.

Ella, from Sheerness, Kent, was remembered by her family as a talented rugby player with a sharp sense of humor and a remarkable ability to turn her hand to almost anything.

But after a series of traumatic events, including the death of a close school friend, her mental health began to deteriorate.

In November 2023, Ella told staff at her school that she wanted to end her life. The school made reports to Medway Maritime Hospital, where she was assessed before being referred to Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services.

A mental health nurse later assessed her as being at “medium risk.”

Ella was sent home with a treatment plan.

The following day, another nurse visited the family home. Natalie asked the nurse to take Ella for a walk, hoping that her daughter might feel more comfortable discussing what she was experiencing privately.

During that conversation, Ella reportedly revealed just how desperate she had become.

She said she had “given up,” had tried everything and wanted to be taken away. She also said she was suicidal and feared she might hurt herself or someone else if she remained at home.

Despite those statements, she was not admitted to hospital.

The nurse reportedly told the family that she could not simply make the voices Ella said she was hearing disappear and that Ella did not meet the criteria for hospital admission.

Less than 45 minutes after the nurse left, Ella went upstairs and took her own life.

She died the following day at King’s College Hospital on Nov. 15, 2023.

A four-day inquest held in December 2024 later examined what happened in the hours leading up to her death.

Coroner Catherine Wood concluded that there had been a failure to carry out an adequate — or any — suicide risk assessment on the day Ella died.

The coroner said it was “incredible” that a risk assessment had not been completed after Ella had disclosed the severity of her suicidal thoughts.

She concluded that Ella should have been assessed as high risk and said there had been a “clear failure” to keep the child safe.

The coroner also found that if information had been properly shared between Ella’s school, social services and mental health providers, “she may still be alive today.”

For Natalie, the tragedy has never truly ended.

She remembers Ella not only as a child struggling with mental health, but as a daughter with a vibrant personality, a love of rugby and a close bond with her family.

The family continues to lay flowers at Ella’s grave every week.

Now Natalie is campaigning for the government to make suicide risk assessments mandatory whenever a young person says they want to kill themselves.

A petition started by Ella’s friend, Daisy Sunley, has collected nearly 15,000 signatures and is calling for changes in the way young people at risk of suicide are assessed.

Natalie says Ella did everything young people are told to do when they are struggling: she spoke up, asked for help and told professionals exactly how she felt.

The question that continues to haunt her is whether someone could have intervened before it was too late.

“I feel like I’m living in a parallel universe,” Natalie said. “It’s as though this has happened to someone else. Not to me.”

For Natalie, the campaign is now about turning an unbearable loss into something that might protect another child.

She cannot bring Ella back.

But she hopes Ella’s story can help ensure that the next child who cries out for help is heard — and taken seriously — before it is too late.

Source: The Sun